Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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