I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
