No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
