I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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