on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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