The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
