Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
