I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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