I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
now i know why i became what i already was.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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