apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
