i just sent this text using only my big toe
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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