Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
