dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
