what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
