Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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