Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
