David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
birth control should be required to get into college
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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