No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
