i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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