just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
