did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
