I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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