I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
