well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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