dude i'm inner monologue high
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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