Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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