2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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