Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
