He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize