I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
