so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
