Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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