Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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