please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize