Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
