No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
These tits shall not be calmed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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