dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When are your genitals available?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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