Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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