Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
