did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize