bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
