I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
