Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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