I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
