His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
