Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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