We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
