That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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