i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
