If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
