I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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