1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
