I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
