Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
