You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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