i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
