Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
