No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
