gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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