I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
