People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
