I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She swung at the pinata with crutches
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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