i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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