what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
