You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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