party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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