did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
